I am at the point in my life where I am seriously contemplating taking the next step in my relationship and getting hitched. It has been a long and sometimes bumpy road for me with only myself to blame. I mean would you want to get into a serious relationship with someone who financed the majority of their college undergraduate education using private loans?
We have gone through a lot and I know the future will be bright. We have constant debates about how the future will or should be in regards to many decisions we may have to make. Topics range from wedding plans to where we want to live to how we save money. Debates turn into arguments and arguments lead to friction, however, we always work through it and resolve our issues.
I have been with this wonderful lady since high school, so what the heck am I waiting for right? I ask myself that same question very often and the answer always leads back to my own personal finances. I want to be able to support her and ensure that money is never an issue between us. Am I be unrealistic with such a request?
I come from the school of wanting to enjoy life every minute every day, if we want to do something then we can go ahead and do it. I do not plan things out, I just try and live life and be merry. However, if you have followed my past, some of my living has gotten me into financial troubles. Yet, I have conquered those issues and am credit card debt free and beating up the student loans every single day.
She presents a mindset of always looking ahead towards the future and wants to ensure that every step we take during the present day has a positive impact on the future. A great way of approaching life. We just need to find that common ground and understanding that we can work together to accomplish OUR goals.
Thanks to Mr. Prime Time Money on his post for 6 Ways to Argue Less About Money because after reading that this morning it really sparked me to open up about this topic.
I guess the biggest issue I am having is trying to find that common ground with someone when they are so set on their approach to the future. How do we make people more willing to come over to our side and compromise a little?
Looks like marriage is going to be a new popular topic on here! I'm really hoping it begins to give me better perspective on whatever the heck it is that I am trying to do! Only on a Monday right? Be easy people.
Monday, November 24, 2008
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5 comments:
Doc - Sounds like your lady would be good for you but only if you find common financial ground first. With you admitting to be "spend first, plan later" kind of guy and she being a "plan first" kind of gal, something needs to give. Anyway, good luck and keep us posted.
Glad I could provide a little inspiration today. Looking forward to reading more from you on this subject. No matter how well we think we "fit" with our spouses, it's good to be reminded every once in a while.
So, you want to be able to provide for her and never have money as an issue, but you are also a spend it now kind of guy... ToughMoneyLove is right - something's gotta give... you have to figure out what you need to do to get where you want to be.
At the same time, there's nothing a girl hates more than being made to wait and not knowing why. Make sure she knows what's up.
As I've always said... Talk it out! Don't get yourself (and her) into a mess later..
Finances are probably the #1 discussion (or heated discussion) started in our household. It really helps to have a plan, a goal and a budget. Working together and keeping an open dialog is key.
Oh and... Hello, NetChick sent me!
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